Life got CRAZY, time to update!

So, I know it has been a long time since I have written anything in my blog. I have no real excuse other than life just simply got crazy! I am going to use this entry to bring you up to date, and I will try harder to update on a more regular basis from now on........

July- Since the last time I wrote an entry, a lot has happened. All through out July J and I had day visits. We had a lot of fun going to the movies, the water park, swimming, and hanging out with friends. He always seemed sad when it was time for us to part ways. At the end of July I was planning on taking J out to CA to meet his new family. I had gotten permission from DHS in June and was going full force with my plans to bring my little guy home. Needless to say, NOTHING went right. DHS lost my file, misplaced my background check and created a whole lot of hoopla regarding getting things in order for the trip. Luckily for me I did already have permission, so I basically contacted the head of DHS (after everyone else wouldn't return my calls) and explained to her my situation and it got the ball rolling. I think I really made some people mad, but they totally let the ball drop! The head of DHS apologized and told me this should have never happened. SO, at the very last minute (like Monday and we were leaving for CA on that Thursday) everything was put into place and we were set for the adventure. We had a lot of fun visiting family in CA. J had never been on a plane before, so this was his first time. He said that take off and landing was his favorite part. We were VERY busy while visiting CA, but overall I would say it was a very nice trip! I miss being near my family so much, and being there with J made me want to move back even more!


August- Back to the daily grind we go! Summer vacation is over and now it is time to go back to work and school. I was excited to start my new job and meet my new 2nd graders. J was excited to start a new school too. When we got back from CA J went back to his foster mom for one more week-end, and then he was placed with me full time. Our "official" date of placement was August 17. Things got really hectic once school started. J's aggression got worse and he was testing every possible boundary he could. He has a really good teacher though, so that is helpful. He was having some trouble at school, he got 2 days of in school suspension within the first 2 weeks of school.


September- This is when things really started getting hairy! The boundary pushing and aggression just kept getting worse. I was starting to see sides of him I had never seen and I was started to see sides of me I had never seen and did not ever want to see again. It was taking a lot of prayer and support to keep my head level at this point. At the advice of the therapist and adoption specialist, we agreed to send J to a respite home for a week-end to give me a much needed mental break, and to give him a dose of reality. This did not work out as planned, for DHS did not provide and adequate respite placement given the circumstances. He came back that Monday with a toy, candy, and money. This is the day when things really hit the fan. It started when I was put into a position to be the bad guy because I had to take away all the things he was give from the respite home. Later that afternoon, J got frustrated with his homework and he just completely exploded. To make a long story short, I had war wounds and he ended up in a psychiatric hospital. They kept him at the hospital for 7 days. While he was there they started him on a new medication. The medication they put him on is used to treat Bi-Polar Disorder and Schizophrenia. Although he does not have either of those diagnosis, it is a mood stabilizer. I have to say, as much as I am against unnecessary medication, this seems to be working wonders. Since he got back and has been on the new medication things have been great. He has been pleasant to be around, we have had great days at school, and he is able to stop and think before he reacts to something. As much as I am enjoying what I see so far with the new meds, it does seem to make him more tired and he has lost some of his spunk. It might just be his body adjusting to the new medication, so we will see what happens with more time. We are going back to the doctor in the middle of October so we can change meds if we need to. This week-end has been good. We went to the fair Friday night and J had a lot of fun. Hopefully this means things will continue to get better so we can work on developing a home with each other. One piece of advise the therapist gave me that I think will help, is she told me to let school go. She advised me to focus more on our bonding and relationship rather than how he is doing in school. She even went as far to say that if he fails 3rd grade so what. As a teacher, this is hard for me to accept, but I do see the importance and priority wise, our relationship IS more important than his grades and at this point in the game, that is what matters to me!