Life got CRAZY, time to update!

So, I know it has been a long time since I have written anything in my blog. I have no real excuse other than life just simply got crazy! I am going to use this entry to bring you up to date, and I will try harder to update on a more regular basis from now on........

July- Since the last time I wrote an entry, a lot has happened. All through out July J and I had day visits. We had a lot of fun going to the movies, the water park, swimming, and hanging out with friends. He always seemed sad when it was time for us to part ways. At the end of July I was planning on taking J out to CA to meet his new family. I had gotten permission from DHS in June and was going full force with my plans to bring my little guy home. Needless to say, NOTHING went right. DHS lost my file, misplaced my background check and created a whole lot of hoopla regarding getting things in order for the trip. Luckily for me I did already have permission, so I basically contacted the head of DHS (after everyone else wouldn't return my calls) and explained to her my situation and it got the ball rolling. I think I really made some people mad, but they totally let the ball drop! The head of DHS apologized and told me this should have never happened. SO, at the very last minute (like Monday and we were leaving for CA on that Thursday) everything was put into place and we were set for the adventure. We had a lot of fun visiting family in CA. J had never been on a plane before, so this was his first time. He said that take off and landing was his favorite part. We were VERY busy while visiting CA, but overall I would say it was a very nice trip! I miss being near my family so much, and being there with J made me want to move back even more!


August- Back to the daily grind we go! Summer vacation is over and now it is time to go back to work and school. I was excited to start my new job and meet my new 2nd graders. J was excited to start a new school too. When we got back from CA J went back to his foster mom for one more week-end, and then he was placed with me full time. Our "official" date of placement was August 17. Things got really hectic once school started. J's aggression got worse and he was testing every possible boundary he could. He has a really good teacher though, so that is helpful. He was having some trouble at school, he got 2 days of in school suspension within the first 2 weeks of school.


September- This is when things really started getting hairy! The boundary pushing and aggression just kept getting worse. I was starting to see sides of him I had never seen and I was started to see sides of me I had never seen and did not ever want to see again. It was taking a lot of prayer and support to keep my head level at this point. At the advice of the therapist and adoption specialist, we agreed to send J to a respite home for a week-end to give me a much needed mental break, and to give him a dose of reality. This did not work out as planned, for DHS did not provide and adequate respite placement given the circumstances. He came back that Monday with a toy, candy, and money. This is the day when things really hit the fan. It started when I was put into a position to be the bad guy because I had to take away all the things he was give from the respite home. Later that afternoon, J got frustrated with his homework and he just completely exploded. To make a long story short, I had war wounds and he ended up in a psychiatric hospital. They kept him at the hospital for 7 days. While he was there they started him on a new medication. The medication they put him on is used to treat Bi-Polar Disorder and Schizophrenia. Although he does not have either of those diagnosis, it is a mood stabilizer. I have to say, as much as I am against unnecessary medication, this seems to be working wonders. Since he got back and has been on the new medication things have been great. He has been pleasant to be around, we have had great days at school, and he is able to stop and think before he reacts to something. As much as I am enjoying what I see so far with the new meds, it does seem to make him more tired and he has lost some of his spunk. It might just be his body adjusting to the new medication, so we will see what happens with more time. We are going back to the doctor in the middle of October so we can change meds if we need to. This week-end has been good. We went to the fair Friday night and J had a lot of fun. Hopefully this means things will continue to get better so we can work on developing a home with each other. One piece of advise the therapist gave me that I think will help, is she told me to let school go. She advised me to focus more on our bonding and relationship rather than how he is doing in school. She even went as far to say that if he fails 3rd grade so what. As a teacher, this is hard for me to accept, but I do see the importance and priority wise, our relationship IS more important than his grades and at this point in the game, that is what matters to me!

I am in love with a younger man!

Today we went to another therapy session. The therapist wanted to check in to see how things were going post adoption news. J admitted he was scared about not seeing his foster family anymore- which I can understand, he has been there two years. They are a really good family and his foster mom reassured him that she would always be "granny." He is excited, that is obvious. He got real quiet and sad when it came time for me to drop him off at his foster parent(s) home. I am going Saturday to see him perform at church. He sings in the men's choir- that is what he tells me. So cute!!!!

J knows I am going to adopt him....

Last Wednesday I went to a meeting with his therapist and social worker. We discussed a plan as to when we were going to tell J about the adoption and when he would come stay with me etc. Then last Friday I went to a staffing where everyone was in attendance. His foster mom, the adoption specialist, the family service worker, social worker, me, and one other lady who's title I am not so sure about. Anyway, things went well and all were in agreement about the direction we needed to go in. So today I went to his therapy session after work and they let ME tell him about the adoption. I said "J, I was hoping that you would want to come live with me and that I could adopt you if that is something you want. Is that something you would want?" "Yes ma'am." Then the rest of the session was trying to get him to open up about his feelings regarding the news, but he didn't say much. Later him and I were at the park and he kept mentioning me being his foster mom. So, I said J, I don't want to be your foster mom, because a foster mom isn't forever and I want to be your mom forever. And he said to me "I want to be your son forever."

Everything else will happen soon.........as far as my first over night visit, and when he comes to stay with me permanently.

I am just so excited about everything! I will be in CA from July 23-Aug. 6 for J to meet everyone and to show him my home!

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YAY for progress!!

Today I had a meeting with J's therapist and social worker. Things went really well. On Friday we have a staffing where everyone involved will be there to discuss the situation. The therapist is going to recommend that J spend the week-end with me and that things get pushed through fast. She doesn't see any reason why this process needs to be held up anymore. We are going to tell J about the adoption on Monday. I am going to go to his therapy appointment on Monday and the therapist and social worker will be telling him about the plan that day. This makes me very excited yet at the same time a little scared because it is all becoming a reality!

Life is good!

I am so excited to say that I got a teaching job for next year, teaching 2nd grade (my favorite), at a school where I know J will excel! This makes me way happy!

I spent some time with him out side of the school setting. Today we went to the local water park and we both had a blast. I bought us season passes so we can go several times this summer. He had never been before and he had so much fun. It was such a joy to see the look on his face! I really want things to move forward, they are kinda at a stand still- just the system- and I am ready for some movement!

My adoption shower + update

Today has been a busy day! I had an interview this morning for a counseling position that would be ideal both financially and location wise. Then this afternoon I had my adoption shower at work. J got such wonderful things. I just can't wait for him to know, i think he will be excited and probably overwhelmed a little. I am blessed to have wonderful friends and co-workers! Thanks guys!!! Today it also seems like we may be making some progress also. I got an email from the case manager telling me that they are setting up a staffing for next week. This is when I get to meet all people involved in his case. I am looking forward to that. I got an email today from the case worker handling my paper work and she said it was all in order and that I should be hearing from someone soon to schedule the home visit. All of this means that things are moving forward and that is always good news!!

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I am excited to have the room pretty much done. There are a few minor things here and there I still have to get done but the furniture came in and it looks really good.

I am a little peeved today it seems that DHS and the treatment home where J receives therapy are at each other in a power struggle. DHS doesn't want a lot of time to pass between the end of the school year and when I see J again but the therapist wants to wait until I join him in therapy before they say anything to him. Don't ask me to clarify, because I am still confused. I emailed the case worker, so I am sure I will know more tomorrow. Luckily for me , DHS has the control, not the therapist, but still this is RIDICULOUS!!!

I think I might have to scream into a pillow tonight, I am mighty aggitated!

J's room thus far

So this week-end has been busy as I have been painting and working on J's room. I ordered his furniture today and that should arrive in a couple of weeks. When the furniture gets here I will be able to finish his room and I will post more pictures. I am a little obsessed with his room, I just keep going in there and smiling! It is a surreal feeling to have a kids room in MY house! I love it!

well....

I know it has been awhile since I have updated this, these last couple of weeks at work have just been soooooooooo hectic! I am ready for summer! Things are going well. I went to my 2ND adoption class last Saturday........I have to admit, they are not too horrible! Although, I could use some more sleep right now! I am moving along with the process. The court hearing went well with his siblings, and I was presented to the court as a potential adoptive home. There were not any objections, which is nice.

I am trying to sell my furniture so I can paint. I would love to paint his room on Memorial Day Week-end! Then I can go buy his bedroom stuff YIPPEEE!

J still does not officially know about the adoption, but today he made a couple of comments that I find odd and they make me think he at least has an idea that something is up.....today out of the blue he asked me when I was going to be a foster mom, then he told me he wants to stay with me, then he asked if he could call me mom (i blew him off and told him to go sit down because he was off task- which he was). Then later he told one of my other students to "leave my momma alone!" I mentioned these comments to his case worker so that they could address it- how are they planning on doing this? I don't know! I really want to be the one to tell him, I want to see the look on his face!

It looks like he should be living with me, at the latest, the end of June. It very well may be earlier in the month, it just really depends on when they do my final home study. I will take that into consideration for determining when I will visit CA this July.

Changed my mind.....

So a friend of mine was at TJ Maxx and she saw this bedding and I like it a lot more than the other one, so I bought it and returned the other one to Target. I also returned the bean bag......i decided it was too much and I didn't really like it. If I decide later he needs a chair I will get a plain one.

I have already had a response to my furniture postings so hopefully the items will sell soon and maybe I can start painting in the next week or two!